On Being Aunt Bee
Do you know her, Dear Reader? Miss Bee is the aunt to Sheriff Andy Taylor who lives in the quaint southern town of Mayberry in the 1960s TV sitcom, the Andy Griffith Show. Aunt Bee lives with and takes care of widower Andy and his son Opie. Aunt Bee is what we used to call a “spinster”, never married, never had children, and has aged out of doing either. Is that word still in common usage, Dear Reader? Spinster? It is archaic and pejorative. It suggests a woman who has failed at being a woman.
In Season 8, episode 17, Aunt Bee is recruited to star in a locally televised cooking show, “The Mayberry Chef”. Aunt Bee is not camera-shy. She is herself while the cameras roll. She is, as they say, a natural. Friendly, vivacious, and she enjoys being a good cook. She is a viral sensation as only one can be when there are 6 TV channels to choose from and the internet does not exist. But she is wonderful, accessible and real. She would, no doubt, be a viral sensation 60 years later on Tik Tok.
To his credit, Andy is unconditionally supportive of his aunt’s new career. He never doubts her or questions her success. He watches her cooking show every night. His attempts at cooking for himself and Opie yield failed results but he keeps it a secret. He doesn’t want Aunt Bee to give up her show to come home and cook for him.
Aunt Bee is getting fan mail, canvas bags filled with handwritten paper letters from her viewers delivered by the mailman.
Aunt Bee makes a choice. It’s her choice. She chooses to walk away from the show, the fame, the money, and return to her home as caretaker. She does it intentionally. It is her choice. The money and fame are meaningless to her.
I was so impressed by her choice.
Not because she returned to a traditional role as caretaker and housekeeper for her nephew and his son. The two people she loved and cared for very much.
But because Aunt Bee knew what was important to her. She wasn’t sacrificing herself. She wasn’t sacrificing fortune and fame. She’s not racked by guilt or insecurity or anxiety. She was entirely comfortable leaving it behind to do what she valued most.
She was independent in her own way, not attached to the fame or the money. That’s a special kind of freedom. I watched the episode again before I wrote this blog. I don’t remember when I’d last watched it. My response is the same.
Aunt B is Zen, humble, aware and enlightened.
That’s impressive. Knowing who you are and making decisions based on that knowledge. That impressed me and still does.
I feel the need to say I’m not espousing any “trad” roles for women or men. I am still a proud feminist. I know the purpose of feminism is to give men and women the right to choose what each wants to do with his or her life. The right to choose how each wants to live, where to live, to study, to work, who to love, to marry or not, to procreate or not.
I’ve watched all the Andy Griffith episodes, 249 of them, me and Anthony Hopkins have that in common. The “Mayberry Chef” has stayed with me.
So, Aunt Bee, here’s to you. You’re my Hero.